You Are The Reason

“…There goes my heart beating
‘Cause you are the reason
I’m losing my sleep
Please come back now
There goes my mind racing
And you are the reason
That I’m still breathing
I’m hopeless now

I’d climb every mountain
And swim every ocean
Just to be with you
And fix what I’ve broken
Oh, ’cause I need you to see
That you are the reason…”You

I just heard those words from Spotify on my phone. Yeah, This is one of my most favourite songs. I’ve heard it many times. You know why?

Because each word to the whole story of this song is identical to my thought. What is true love? I dunno but I am totally sure that I can do everything for my soul mate if those things make her feels happy even climb every mountain or swim all oceans. Many times, When I said I missed her, I really would like to say that could I come to see her for a while. Just to see her face.

I also do not what I did wrong in my story. If I have an opportunity to know. I swear I will do everything to fix. Maybe, the wrong thing is me. I mean I will always be the wrong person.

My fundamental lesson in marketing is “right messages, right audiences, right time”. And I always compare my knowledge from that field to life, In my painful story which has been hurting me, everything isn’t right. Because, when I saw her, I lost my mind and I only love from my heart. That was the reason I was not able to express my love to her. And from her, I was not the right one. Finally, Time is both important and valueless, It neither can help me be with her nor heal my broken heart.

Everything is might be wrong but only one thing is right to me that I love you and you’re the reason for that love.

Impossible

How hard to forget someone you love from the bottom of your heart?
Me again, It had been a long time I did not publish anything in my blog! I am very busy with my jobs.
Today is 12/07/2020 like many other weekend days, I choose a familiar coffee shop and try hard in my jobs. When I was working, I suddenly heard a James Arthur’s song from the Cafe’s Speakers. These words are “Falling out of love is hard”, although the story behind that song is not similar to mine. But the words “Impossible” “Falling out of love is hard” are an obsession to me. Today, I’ll tell you my impossible story when I am trying my best to fall out of my hurtful love.

If you wonder about my sad story, You can read previous posts to understand more about context. To sum up, in a short paragraph, The love began X years ago, and It was so romantic the moment I saw her, It was love at first sight because of her voice. With me, that voice is so sweet, a few days ago due to missing her voice so much, I sent her a message asking her that What I can do to be heard her voice (sadly, She still does not reply me for a while ). Even I love her from the first sight, But about three months since the first time I had heard that voice I had an opportunity to approach her. I think I made a number of mistakes to express my heart. Okay, It’s enough to know about it. Over the past year, I have done everything to save my life from that love. However, the more I want to be free from that love, the more I am being trapped in that feeling. In terms of psychology, I have to cheat myself to be back in my normal life here are something I did.

Get far away from her
It was a tough decision, I have thought about it for a long time. The last conversion between me and her, I realized that I was a burden to her. So I made my final decision And I said I would have to leave. Because of that, my plan to say face-to-face about my love to her is still an unfinished story
Well, You know what when you truly love someone distant does not matter. This solution is extremely failed.

Spend time traveling  and working so hard!
After deciding that I would not meet her again, I spend time traveling around Việt Nam to enjoy other things in my life with the hope that If I meet many new people, my broken heart can be healed. And I felt lovely more than I could think LOL. And then I came back to my work and dedicated my time to my jobs. People often say that when you break up, you should keep yourself as busy as possible to forget. Fucking that theory, It is a proper solution to me when I am exhausted after work. I still miss her so much.

Restrict me from all kinds of connections
I deleted all her messages on my phone (I did not save her phone numbers) as well as deactivated all my social network where I can see her. Yes, I did not use social media for about over a year. Until I came back to my full-time job a month ago. My friends were very surprised and asked me why I did not use Facebook. My brother boss Hoang (From Monkey Junior) at a time he called me and said that “You’re an expert about Facebook why you don’t use it”. You know why She is really important to me. I can do everything because of her. Fucking! It still does not work. I still love her even more than the past. And I know that I can do everything but my heart is still beating with her inside it.

Whatever solution I did, I tried. They could not bring any positive results to me. So you know what I am doing. I am acceptedly living with my love and my life and accept that It’s impossible to forget her. I sometimes send her several messages and soon after that I feel regret deeply about the things I did that I am bothering her…. But I don’t know how to stop thinking about her.